I have been trying to slow down the last few days and cherish each and every second with my two precious angels. It seems like life gets so busy and goes by so fast, that it is so easy to get caught up in the little things and in life... If I could freeze this time with them I would. I never want to forget one memory, one funny thing that they do or say, or one minute of their lives. I know this time will slip by us fast so I am trying to not let the small things that have happened or may happen worry me and focus and the much bigger picture of the here and now. I often think about what college they might go to, what career they might want to have, hoping that one day they will grow up and find great husbands who love and cherish them as much as Trav cherishes me, but for now I want them to stay this age forever... I sit here trying to describe my love for them, the feelings I have I cannot even write them down because I can't describe them in words.... Here is my best shot....
Kennedy is now 2 1/2 and she really has the most outgoing and beautiful spirit. She loves to love, she is slightly stubborn,persistent, she never wants to disappoint you, you can see her soaking up each and every word we say and every action we do, she is curious, respectful, playful, caring, she is one of the smartest kids I have ever met. Everyone who comes in contact with her falls in love with her. She always knows what her sister "needs". She put her arms around me last night and said "Mama you are so beautiful and I love you so much" it instantly brought tears to my eyes. The whole world stopped for a what seemed like an eternity (I am sure it was only a few moments), because all that mattered at that second was to sit on her bedroom floor with her in my lap (tears running down my face) and hug her, and tell her how much I loved her back.This little girl will never know how much she is loved.
Harper is 2 months old now and has filled just as big of a space in my heart as Kennedy. I always thought that it wouldn't be possible and I couldn't possibly love another little girl like I did Kennedy.. but I do! She loves to cuddle and be cuddled. She has the most beautiful piercing blue eyes (and Kennedy too), she does purposeful smiles at me and it melts my heart.. I often find myself thinking what will she be like when she is older.. Is she going to be like her sister? I love the way when I kiss her on the nose my lips fit perfectly on the bridge of her nose (just like her sister) I love to cuddle her and smell her "new baby" smell. When she looks at you she smiles and studies you. I love how she wraps her tiny little hand around my finger. I am in love....
I want my daughters to grow up radiating love, honesty, gratefulness, compassion, kindness, confidence, forgiveness, to have a thankful heart, and a love for God and for life. I want them to know how much they are truly loved by their parents. I have to ask myself am I emulating those things (they are watching every move Trav and I make) that I want them to be? Its something I strive for everyday... I want them to know that they always have parents here for them no matter what. I never want them to feel a sad day in their lives. I will protect them to the ends of the earth. I want them to know how so very thankful I am to have them in my life.
I am not sure what I have done to deserve the life that I have... I have been through happiness, heartbreak, sadness, hard lessons, and mistakes, but I cannot describe how thankful I am to be where I have ended up. I guess each lesson (happy or sad) I have learned in my life has made me who I am today. I have a great husband who loves me unconditionally, he is an amazing father to Kennedy and Harper, he goes out of his way to make sure I am happy, he is kind and has am amazing heart, and I know he will always be there for me no matter what. I have two perfect little girls who are happy, healthy, and growing perfectly. I have the greatest friends that anyone could hope for.. I have a great career that I worked insanely hard for... But my most important job to me at the end of the day is to be a good wife and mom to my children. To raise our children right and in love.We only have one chance to raise them ... As small as the girls are now I feel like I learn important lessons from them daily in love, kindness, forgiveness, compassion, and how to slow down and appreciate and enjoy the here and now.... God knows exactly who to place in your life when he does... I am so THANKFUL and LOVED.
